We the people...

I don't think I've ever seen a newsroom so quiet. The phone didn't ring. There wasn't a keyboard clacking anywhere. A hundred or more people downed tools to watch Barack Obama's acceptance speech on the dozens of televisions throughout the newsroom.
It was good. So good.
I wanted to cry. (I didn't, because it is unseemly in a newsroom, but I wanted to).
My friend Nick in New York, who has seen Tina Fey play Sarah Palin in those infamous sketches live live live, sent me messages saying he had been crying. And that there had been spontaneous dancing in the streets of the Big Apple.
Yesterday we got to watch a moment of history. It doesn't happen that often - when you are watching something unfold and know that it is truly a momentous occasion for the planet, the people, the country.
I had the feeling earlier in the year when Prime Minister Rudd gave an apology to the Stolen Generation - which was made all the more momentous because it had been delayed so long and was such a break with the past.
And I had it again yesterday when Obama made his acceptance speech. Such a good speech. Such a worldly man, so inclusive, so educated, so insightful, so erudite. And it was made all the more special because he happens to be African American. Perhaps not a descendant of the slaves, but certainly still a symbol of how far the nation has come.
I am so proud of the American people. So proud of Barack Obama. It was a red letter day. Now we just have to wait until January 20, when the man takes the reigns in his own right.
This next few months is, traditionally, the time when outgoing presidents feather their nests, pardon people, sign off on terrible deals and assorted dodgy things. Okay, maybe I read too much Michael Moore after Bush got elected... I was just so angry at the time. Ok?
Anyway, this is a happy time.
EXCEPT
Fuck you California. Fuck you Arizona. Fuck you Florida.
The Presidential election also included ballot papers in these states for a referendum on the issue of gay marriage. These states have now voted to change their constitutions to define marriage as a heterosexuals-only institution.
Even in a new Obama-led America gay people are denied the basic right to equality in their personal relationships.
I'm not personally likely to get married - gay, straight or brindle - but to deny that opportunity to people who love each other is cruel and unfair. And to remove that ability in a state where it was previously allowable is so retrograde as to be both disgusting and insulting.
I repeat my previous thoughts on this matter: How can two men or two women who love each other and want to express that in the form of marriage possibly EVER cause any more damage to the institution of marriage than Britney Spears has? Or anyone who gets married in a Las Vegas "drive-thru" church? Or the fact that the US divorce rate is between 65 and 75 per cent?
Or this idiotic couple who despite not being well off and having to feed five sons, donated US$50,000 to the campaign against gay marriage in the believe it would make the world better for their children.
How a less tolerant, less equal society is better for your children is beyond me.

On politics

On Bali
There is a double standard in Australia that I do not like. I hear in the voxpops popping up on our radios and televisions, I hear it in the survivors and relatives of the dead, I even hear it from our Prime Minister. The last one concerns me most of all.
Some time this week, or next week, or almost certainly some time this month, the "Bali Bombers" will be put to death.
We do not have the death penalty in this country. We're very civilised about punishment, in actual fact. Deprivation of liberty, for life, is sufficient punishment. What life is a life lead in a cage, surrounded by hardened criminals?
I do not buy this argument that it is okay for the "Bali Bombers" to be put to death.
Yes, they have admitted their crimes. No they are not remorseful. And yes, they might not ever be remorseful if they were serve out their life in a cell.
What really disturbs me, makes me feel sick to the pit of my stomach about my own countrymen, is this notion that we should support the death penalty for these men.
"But they killed 202 people including 88 Australians, Datchy," I hear you say? And our response is to kill them? An eye for an eye? Try explaining this to your children, should you have them. Sit there and justify murder, in response to murder.
I'm not some rampant right-to-lifer. I'm pro-choice, actually. I realise the irony in saying I'd kill a fetus but not a murderer, but I don't think a civilised society endorses killing people by firing squad, hanging, or lethal injection, any more than we'd set up the guillotine on the Supreme Court steps.
I also don't buy this "but it's Indonesian law" argument. Why don't we want Indonesian law applied just as strictly on Schapelle Corby, Michelle Leslie, Renae Lawrence et al?
Then there is also the issue of these men, who are let's face it, not healthy, wanting to become martyrs and inspiring other not-quite-right-in-the-head people (dare I call them "extremists") to do the same?
Animals might kill other animals if they think those animals would harm them. We're meant to be above that.
On America
During the last US presidential election, I was in Dubbo and out of contact with the real world entirely. When I heard George W Bush had been re-elected I was unsurprised, but very disappointed. This administration has been an abomination. Unwelcome wars, bullshit economics, zero leadership. Americans were embarrassed. Some of them posted photos of themselves on the internet with signs saying "sorry".
But Barack Obama has given many Americans hope. They're hurting in a lot of ways and they will vote for Mr Obama, I believe, as they look for a way out of the mire. Voting for Obama is also to reapply for admission for the western world. The US's reputation has taken a massive battering and Obama, to steal his line, actually offers "change".
I desperately hope that tomorrow, he will be elected president of the United States. More than that, I hope he can deliver on his promises. For the good of the poor, the homeless, the unemployed, those who have had their mortgages foreclosed, the working poor, the first generations immigrants, the ill, the disabled. And frankly, for the good of the world.
As an aside, when the fuck did "spreading the wealth around" as promised by Obama equate to "raising taxes and closet socialism"? The screams of support at the McCain rallies seem to suggest a vote for Obama is a vote for Soviet-style communism.
There are people in the US earning $2.50 an hour and raising families on it.. and somehow even suggesting the minimum wage might be increased it tantamount to suggesting Stalin is about to take over. Get some fucking perspective.

These people vote

We talk a lot in this country about whether compulsory voting is good thing. Turns out, judging by this American example, the idiots will vote anyway.

Tina Fey continues to be fabulous as Sarah Palin

I defy anyone not to be impressed by this

Natural selection, I mean this guy should be fathering everyone's children. Seriously.

In which I blow my nose endlessly and still fail to ease the congestion

I have been ill. Bloody buggery bastardry, I have been ill.
This has its advantages, of course. I got two days off work to sit and talk to new friends on msn and Facebook for instance.
I also watched a small cache of shitty and totally gay (in both the way the young people use it and the way the homos use it) movies.
The least satisfying was a highly stylised Spanish language coming-of-age film called Glue, which wasn't so nearly as homoerotic as promised on the box but was still vaguely more interesting than trying to teach the dog braille... which was also on my list of stupid sick day ideas to amuse myself.
I watched Blood Diamond. The Leonardo DiCaprio film everyone else has already seen. I've been to the bloated underbelly of the African continent. I love it. But that bloody accent. I'm sorry but all white Africans are evil. That accent will never allow me to believe otherwise.
I watched also The Book Of Revelation. No one has ever wanted to watch it with me so I've let it slip through to the keeper. I'm a big Tom Long fan, and a fan of dance, so this combined the two a bit. It didn't enjoy it terribly. The dancing was dreadful and very badly filmed. And if you were watching for the sex you'd be disappointed, too. The story telling was quite intense though, so if I was to go all Margaret and David on this films ass I would say it was good.
A word of caution: High School Musical 2 will induce homicidal tendencies in even the most vapid movie-goer. I, who is well not vapid, want to see Zac Efron bleed. Not in a gay way. In a very very unpleasant, icky-in-your-pants kind of way.
(They are different).
The most promising of all is a film I have sitting here called The Marine. It stars someone called John Cena, who is self-evidently big everywhere but apparently also big in wrestling circles. When a DVD box proclaims wildly "starring WWE champion John Cena"... you know that's going to contain F Scott Fitzgerald's prose, Dickensian characterisations and Austenesque witticisms.
John Cena plays John Triton. Which would have made life easier for both the director and Mr Cena on set, I should imagine.
So listen to this pitch on back of the case...
"WWE CHAMPION JOHN CENA dominates the big screen as marine John Triton. Wherever there is danger, Triton is usually smack-dab in the middle of it... and he doesn't play by the rules! After he's unwittingly discharged (wtf?) from Iraq, Triton's beautiful wife Kate is kidnapped (can't wait to see how this is linked) by merciless jewel thieves (oh puh-leeze) led by a vicious killer (nice twist, good... go on, please...). Now Triton must fight to save her, utilising his most powerful weapon - himself! (I see now why they named him after a work bench)."
I am sitting here spastically excited, dripping with anticipation.

Perhaps the City of Joondalup could have looked at this?

My thanks to Kate Ferguson for this spectacular piece of newsreel.

This is actually quite good.

My friend Nick queued up for 17hrs for SNL tickets the other day. What a nut. I suppose it is an American institution. Don't people go out?

Census for September

Reading: My Russian text books. I have enough of them to paper a very large house now.
Watching: Bond, James Bond. I'm on a mission to watch all 21 films before number 22 comes out on November 27. I've actually watched 12 so far. Can I just say, For Your Eyes Only is actually a fantastic film.
Listening: I've been listening to Mika when I'm running but mixing it up in the car at the moment. Trying to break the Santogold mould I've found myself in for a couple of months. Regina Spektor was doing it for me today, yesterday it was Gotye.
Downloading: Every time I download the computer slows down for two weeks. What happened to the fucking broadband revolution K Rudd promised us when we elected him?
Website du jour: Apart from Fatchbook I'm still on SkyscraperCity a lot.
Café: Milkd, Maylands.
Pub: The Scotto I guess. Although I've sort of been hibernating from the pub for a while. A booze sabbatical.
Club: Haven't been to one in yonks. Just don't care for it. I'm so old.
Eating: Whatever Thom cooks. My God he's amazing in the kitchen.
Drinking: Coffee. I know that my doctor specifically recommends against it for someone with my condition but, eh? Whatever.
Wearing: Well right now, technically, nothing. Well not so much technically, I suppose, as actually. Last purchase was a couple of new suits for work. I have sooooo many suits now.
Last show: Went to the ballet on Friday night. WA Ballet did Nutcracker sans mice and tin soldiers, choosing instead to set it modern day Australia using the internet as the theme and a washing machine as the principle motif. It became most bizarre when a purple virus took over the computer. It did nothing to make me love Nutcracker, which I find tiresome. However the two pas de deux in the last act were spectacular and welcome.
Next show: That would be something I think is called Transition, which my beautiful Lara is DJing and my beautiful Eve is singing at. Followed by Parklife the next day. Oh, and Fair Day the day of the gig itself. OMIGOD - unconscious weekend coming up.
Can’t wait ‘til: See above. Oh, and Andrew's visit in December. And Daniel moving back to Perth for a few weeks before Christmas.
Most recent scoop: Who the fuck gets scoops any more? There's been no Government for five weeks, there's been no scoopable scoops in my area!
Most recent purchase: A new easel and some paints. It's so nice to be painting again.
Want but can’t afford: To book my trip to Moscow.
Need but can’t afford: To do two lessons a week rather than one.
Last bad act: I left someone's byline off a story we worked on together. I feel bad. But she was just being such a whingy bitch. Byline karma will come back to bite.
Bad news: Um, Mrs Barfield died last November and no one thought to tell me. Thanks everyone, LOL. Just cos I left the Hills doesn't mean I've completely lost touch with my roots and the people I grew up around.
Good news: I have an entire weekend off next weekend and I am going to Albany to see my beloved Kerry, Karen, Helen, Geoff, Rose-Maree and hopefully Megan.
Goal: Ya gavoritye pa Ruski yizik horoshiye.
Yesterday I: Went to Russian and failed yet again to get a much needed haircut.
Right now I should be:Getting some sleep. It's totally late. Thom is asleep already. Perhaps I will draw on him so he gets a surprise when he wakes up..
Later today I’m: There is an hour and twenty left of today. Aside from a quick pee, sleep is pretty much all I had in mind.

If you're into puzzles, you'll understand.

It's like getting up every morning knowing you're facing the day with two or three crosswords, jigsaw puzzles or soduku squares to do. But you don't mind, because you really love puzzles and each one is a fresh challenge.
Sometimes the puzzles are really hard and the pieces don't fit and you have to complete them over a couple of days, or a week, or longer.
Other times the pieces slip into place or the puzzles runs at you begging you to put it together.
Then, when you're finished - and all your mates have finished their puzzles as well - you bundle them all up together and let everyone else have a look: Satisfying your both your ego and your sense of achievement.
This is the best analogy I can come up with for what it is like to be a journalist.
It popped into my head this morning when, as I bounded out of bed I thought "I wonder what puzzle awaits me today?".
Today I love my job.
But then... I haven't arrived at the office yet.

Genuinely weird thoughts.

I challenge you to come up with a genuinely weird thought. Something frighteningly bizarre. Like so odd that it worries you a bit that you thought of it. I want to compile a list.
Here is my weird idea:
I am unlikely to ever have sex with someone who hasn't already been born.
By which I don't mean I'm unlikely to ever sleep with a foetus. What I mean is, I'm 28. If I was to enter into relations with someone who is about to be born say next week, for example... well the decent thing to do is wait until they're at least 18. Which means I'll be 46. Which is too old for an 18 year old to contemplate, surely?
And yes, it's true, I had that weird thought and then thought I'd ask you all for weird thoughts to make me feel less weird about the weird thought I had.
It actually stemmed from me realising I'm really not attracted to 18 year olds. I think it had something to do with the under cooked and weirdly dressed twinky gay boy who was adjusting his clothes in the mirror of the Belmont Cinema bogs this afternoon.
Ultimately dude, you might think you look hot but you're in the Belmont Cinema bogs... seriously... put the tickets you've got on yourself down before you get hurt.
Or it might have been the blog on whether not having kids is selfish (thanks Observer) which I read this afternoon.
Something has put me in a weird place mentally, anyway. So make me feel better by proving you're weird too.

Fancy making yourself angry?

Then go here. Seriously, this is why the rest of the world hates America.
If the slogan on the banner doesn't tell you enough, read on. There's hardly a minority not insulted. Particularly interesting is God's Hitlist on the sidebar.

Oh ok... here's an example for those too lazy to look.

=============Wrong Choices
God’s lifestyle choices hitlist : God hates people that belong to one of the groups below because they harm America!

Gays
Liberals
Abortionists
Animal Rights People
Environmentalists
Muzlims
Vegetarians/Vegans
Pedophiles
“Global Warming/Cooling” Believers
Linux users
“Purpose Driven” churches
Mormons
Germans
Government school teachers
The anti-smoking lobby
College Professors
Poets
Hybrid Cars

Well that's just dandy

I had no idea it was being made but apparently the new version of Brideshead Revisited is already showing in cinemas overseas.
I really enjoyed the first half of this book, but I couldn't say I loved the book overall. Charles is a bore and we're forced to see the world through his eyes. Of course, film can treat it differently as the medium is more omniscient than the firsthand style of the book.
I'm not sure if anyone truly loves this story. The opening chapters appeal to the hoyay in me and Sebastian Flyte is one of the great character inventions English literature. I will never forgive Evelyn Waugh for what he did to his own creation, this delicious Wildian character.
And it is because of Sebastian's demise and how integral it is to the story that leads me to feel this film will be a deeply unsatisfying experience.
But I'm willing to give it a shot.
It can't possibly be more bland than the X Files movie.
And it does have Emma Thompson in it... which is always a good sign.
So... fingers crossed.

Wow. People really do that, huh?

This morning I walked into a door.
Who the fuck knew people really did that?

I'm off sick today because my old war wound is playing up. I've just finishing watching season two of Torchwood, thanks to my darling friend Andrew, who not only knows how to show a boy a good time in Brisbane but all knows how to pirate DVDs in order to make the love linger for a month or two later.

Reasonably uneventful day. I managed to file a story despite being in a considerable amount of pain and not actually being in the office. I had an exclusive yesterday - that still hasn't run and nor has the thing I filed today. Which makes me wonder, why fucking bother?

Sorry I haven't posted for a while. I haven't really felt like I had anything interesting to say. And clearly, judging by this post, I still don't. LOL.

I have worked every Sunday this month and haven't had two days off together for four weeks. I'm exhausted. So on that thunderous anti-climax, I'm going to disappear back into cyberspace for bit.........

My first love

I met my first love on a Saturday afternoon.
I know it was a Saturday afternoon, because that was when they used to show Get Smart on Channel Seven when I was a kid.
My first love was Barbara Feldon. She must have been in her 30s when she played agent 99, which meant she was probably in her 50s and 60s by the time I was watching the re-runs in the 80s. But, oh! How I loved her.
Bob hair cut. Awesome 60s clothes. Knee-high boots. Go-go dancing... long eyelashes... and that sexy, husky voice drawling "Oh Max!".

I mean really... what more could a kid want?
Except, perhaps, to actually be her... which I realise now was probably more to the point.
(Just to share a birthday with her is a thrill... I only just discovered that as I was digging up photos for this post).

I absolutely loved this show. When I first sat down and caught an episode - or a bit of an episode - I was transfixed. I became a life long fan, much as I had with Dad's Army, The Good Life, Are You Being Served, I Love Lucy and a few other old classics they'd repeat from time to time.
So it was with great trepidation I went along to see the new Get Smart movie this afternoon, especially (as Thom says) "Anne Hathaway flatlines in beige". Also... not a huge fan of Steve Carrell. But this was actually an enjoyable film.
Unlike Indiana Jones, they didn't bring in stupid aliens or anything that totally ruined the franchise. They stayed very true to the feel of the original films. It wasn't filled with belly laughs, but all the lines you wanted to hear were in there, they didn't over play them, and they had the right levels of spoof, homage, and actual plot.
It won't win an Oscar or set the world ablaze... but I want to thank those involved for not ruining my childhood memories. Which is, let's face it, a rarity for these kinds of films.