Wednesday, September 24, 2008

I defy anyone not to be impressed by this

Natural selection, I mean this guy should be fathering everyone's children. Seriously.

In which I blow my nose endlessly and still fail to ease the congestion

I have been ill. Bloody buggery bastardry, I have been ill.
This has its advantages, of course. I got two days off work to sit and talk to new friends on msn and Facebook for instance.
I also watched a small cache of shitty and totally gay (in both the way the young people use it and the way the homos use it) movies.
The least satisfying was a highly stylised Spanish language coming-of-age film called Glue, which wasn't so nearly as homoerotic as promised on the box but was still vaguely more interesting than trying to teach the dog braille... which was also on my list of stupid sick day ideas to amuse myself.
I watched Blood Diamond. The Leonardo DiCaprio film everyone else has already seen. I've been to the bloated underbelly of the African continent. I love it. But that bloody accent. I'm sorry but all white Africans are evil. That accent will never allow me to believe otherwise.
I watched also The Book Of Revelation. No one has ever wanted to watch it with me so I've let it slip through to the keeper. I'm a big Tom Long fan, and a fan of dance, so this combined the two a bit. It didn't enjoy it terribly. The dancing was dreadful and very badly filmed. And if you were watching for the sex you'd be disappointed, too. The story telling was quite intense though, so if I was to go all Margaret and David on this films ass I would say it was good.
A word of caution: High School Musical 2 will induce homicidal tendencies in even the most vapid movie-goer. I, who is well not vapid, want to see Zac Efron bleed. Not in a gay way. In a very very unpleasant, icky-in-your-pants kind of way.
(They are different).
The most promising of all is a film I have sitting here called The Marine. It stars someone called John Cena, who is self-evidently big everywhere but apparently also big in wrestling circles. When a DVD box proclaims wildly "starring WWE champion John Cena"... you know that's going to contain F Scott Fitzgerald's prose, Dickensian characterisations and Austenesque witticisms.
John Cena plays John Triton. Which would have made life easier for both the director and Mr Cena on set, I should imagine.
So listen to this pitch on back of the case...
"WWE CHAMPION JOHN CENA dominates the big screen as marine John Triton. Wherever there is danger, Triton is usually smack-dab in the middle of it... and he doesn't play by the rules! After he's unwittingly discharged (wtf?) from Iraq, Triton's beautiful wife Kate is kidnapped (can't wait to see how this is linked) by merciless jewel thieves (oh puh-leeze) led by a vicious killer (nice twist, good... go on, please...). Now Triton must fight to save her, utilising his most powerful weapon - himself! (I see now why they named him after a work bench)."
I am sitting here spastically excited, dripping with anticipation.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Perhaps the City of Joondalup could have looked at this?

My thanks to Kate Ferguson for this spectacular piece of newsreel.

Monday, September 15, 2008

This is actually quite good.

My friend Nick queued up for 17hrs for SNL tickets the other day. What a nut. I suppose it is an American institution. Don't people go out?

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Census for September

Reading: My Russian text books. I have enough of them to paper a very large house now.
Watching: Bond, James Bond. I'm on a mission to watch all 21 films before number 22 comes out on November 27. I've actually watched 12 so far. Can I just say, For Your Eyes Only is actually a fantastic film.
Listening: I've been listening to Mika when I'm running but mixing it up in the car at the moment. Trying to break the Santogold mould I've found myself in for a couple of months. Regina Spektor was doing it for me today, yesterday it was Gotye.
Downloading: Every time I download the computer slows down for two weeks. What happened to the fucking broadband revolution K Rudd promised us when we elected him?
Website du jour: Apart from Fatchbook I'm still on SkyscraperCity a lot.
Café: Milkd, Maylands.
Pub: The Scotto I guess. Although I've sort of been hibernating from the pub for a while. A booze sabbatical.
Club: Haven't been to one in yonks. Just don't care for it. I'm so old.
Eating: Whatever Thom cooks. My God he's amazing in the kitchen.
Drinking: Coffee. I know that my doctor specifically recommends against it for someone with my condition but, eh? Whatever.
Wearing: Well right now, technically, nothing. Well not so much technically, I suppose, as actually. Last purchase was a couple of new suits for work. I have sooooo many suits now.
Last show: Went to the ballet on Friday night. WA Ballet did Nutcracker sans mice and tin soldiers, choosing instead to set it modern day Australia using the internet as the theme and a washing machine as the principle motif. It became most bizarre when a purple virus took over the computer. It did nothing to make me love Nutcracker, which I find tiresome. However the two pas de deux in the last act were spectacular and welcome.
Next show: That would be something I think is called Transition, which my beautiful Lara is DJing and my beautiful Eve is singing at. Followed by Parklife the next day. Oh, and Fair Day the day of the gig itself. OMIGOD - unconscious weekend coming up.
Can’t wait ‘til: See above. Oh, and Andrew's visit in December. And Daniel moving back to Perth for a few weeks before Christmas.
Most recent scoop: Who the fuck gets scoops any more? There's been no Government for five weeks, there's been no scoopable scoops in my area!
Most recent purchase: A new easel and some paints. It's so nice to be painting again.
Want but can’t afford: To book my trip to Moscow.
Need but can’t afford: To do two lessons a week rather than one.
Last bad act: I left someone's byline off a story we worked on together. I feel bad. But she was just being such a whingy bitch. Byline karma will come back to bite.
Bad news: Um, Mrs Barfield died last November and no one thought to tell me. Thanks everyone, LOL. Just cos I left the Hills doesn't mean I've completely lost touch with my roots and the people I grew up around.
Good news: I have an entire weekend off next weekend and I am going to Albany to see my beloved Kerry, Karen, Helen, Geoff, Rose-Maree and hopefully Megan.
Goal: Ya gavoritye pa Ruski yizik horoshiye.
Yesterday I: Went to Russian and failed yet again to get a much needed haircut.
Right now I should be:Getting some sleep. It's totally late. Thom is asleep already. Perhaps I will draw on him so he gets a surprise when he wakes up..
Later today I’m: There is an hour and twenty left of today. Aside from a quick pee, sleep is pretty much all I had in mind.