Someone just sent me an email in which she said "I don't know why anyone would want to become a journalist - such a thankless task".
Nail. Head.
Journalism is a vocational thing. It's like becoming a priest. You have to love it.
Well I've stopped loving it.
I'm sick of avoiding telling people where I work because of their reactions.
I'm sick of defending my work place to opinionated know-it-alls.
I'm sick of know-it-alls ringing or emailing to complain about my stories.
I'm sick of idiots ringing me to complain about the editorials in the paper - I don't even fucking write them.
I'm sick of i'm sick of making stories out of crack pot ideas.
I'm sick of writing angles that are unfair or not quite true.
I'm sick of being made to feel inefficient, ineffectual and incompetent.
I'm sick of taking a big sigh before I answer the phone.
I'm sick of avoiding returning calls from members of the public who want to pick on something I've written.
I'm sick of being asked to cover stupid fucking non-events.
I'm sick of watching legitimate news stories go uncovered while flights of fancy are pursued at a remarkable level of resourcing.
I'm sick of getting paid peanuts for all of this.
I'm sick of not being respected.
I'm sick to fucking death of it all.
I don't love it. I hate it.
I hate waking up in the morning with a feeling of dread about what the day might hold.
I hate sighing with relief if I'm not asked to do something I'm uncomfortable with.
I hate the fact that I no longer smile and laugh. I don't see my friends any more. I'm rude. I'm aggressive. Angry. Where did I go? What happened to me?
I know this is self indulgent, but it's my fucking blog and I'll cry if I want to.
I hate my life at the moment. I hate it.
This shall pass, but right now I just wanted to explain to you all why I may not be around, may not be happy, may not be myself.
I'm trying desperately hard not to string myself up in the shed.
Private Dancer
2 months ago
8 comments:
No place is worth working at if the bosses make you feel that uncomfortable and unhappy. I say start looking for greener pastures, life is to short to be made miserable somewhere. Go work somewhere where you can be passionate about your work.
I agree with anon, however that said, I am proud that you work there and love seeing your name at the bottom of articles.
When did my friends get so anonymous?
Hope things get better soon xx
Me too. And I'm not anonymous.
True that, Daniel san. Much as I love having you across the other side of the office if you're long-term unhappy 'tis not worth it. A departmental jump, even if it brings you in close proximity with certain douchebags, is always on the cards...
We're actually all very proud of you datch. Perhaps to rekindle your love of the fourth estate, you could knock up a few stories on diabetes, shave for a cure or community service awards for me? Naaaaw. Get the hell outta there and come back to us bigger and better than ever. That's "eva".
Oh poppet, that's shithouse.
I think what's missing a lot in today's work environments is positive reinforcement. Quite frankly they should stop treating talented young staff as yourself like shit.
Maybe look at getting a job in travel journalism? Jet set around and be snappy?
But don't string yourself up, you'd give them a story they didn't have to work for.
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