Tyra, I love you

And I'd like to thank all the "fag enablers" out there, too.

The Fruitcake Lady

Enda keeps finding this shit. I have no idea where he gets it from, but this is hilarious.

Now here's a quality Americans look for in a first family

3:25

For the first three minutes and 24 seconds this a pretty standard Eurovision-style song about the Balkans being a place of drinking and dancing.
At 3.25 seconds precisely, it jumps the shark and becomes something else altogether.
You'll see what I mean.


Actually I've just found more of this singer. She's fantastic. This film clip has everything. Her outfit is spectacular (one for Trish, I think) plus there is drag queen eyebrows, ugly muscle men, white snake skin shoes, boats, bendbacks on boats, drag queen eye lashes, motorcycles, greasy slicked-back hair, bad acting and cheesy cheesy fucking music. Oh Funky G, you've made my day! I'm slightly in love. If this is Serbian music, what the hell is the place like?

Hope.

I did it. And I sincerely hope everyone else did too.
I went to bed early last night and set my alarm for 1am. I went to sleep... and woke in time to watch the inauguration.
I'm so glad I did.
I love those moments when you're know you're watching history. Things like Diana's funeral (not that I "loved" that), the apology to the stolen generation, and Barack Obama's inauguration as US president.
It's not even that he's black, although clearly that makes it even more incredible and historic.
What is so special about it is that he really does offer hope. For those of us who have been wildly critical of the Bush administration to the point of becoming "anti-American", Obama says all the right things.
He wants to bridge the great divides in his own community, and in the global community. Extending a hand to all nations, as long as they unclench their fists in return, is an amazing and beautiful sentiment. I hope he can carry through.
Some people are criticising Obama because he says so much yet may yet deliver little.
Well maybe he won't deliver everything. Maybe circumstances will overtake him. Who knows?
But what I do know is, he's given people reason to hope.
It's the right word for the right time.
And I hope, I believe, he is the right man for the right time.
For once, well done America. You guys got it right.

This must be how the rich people live

This is completely irresponsible. Financially completely ruinous. I've totally jeopardised my savings plan for London.
But fuck it.
Today, and I'm not sure really what sparked it, I bought plane tickets to Jakarta.
Why the fuck not?
Sure, I'm the best part of a grand down and I've put little or no thought into it beyond:
1) Thom is in Jakarta, and
2) I have a three day weekend.
The only trouble was I couldn't really get flights when I wanted them, so I had to ask for Thursday off as well, which I did. The Chief of Staff, who was feeling generous perhaps because it was his birthday, was like "show me the roster... done".
And so it is.
I get to visit my beautiful boy, who is doing so tremendously well in Indonesia and at the Jakarta Post. I get to see the city he has decided he rather adores, even if it is mainly because he's followed by a harem of local girls. And I get to meet all these people he claims are rather fantastic.
Oh yeah, and then there is the cultural experience, seeing somewhere new, traveling overseas, going on a plane... and getting it all as a tax deduction by writing a story on it for the travel section.
Well I'm not an idiot.
So. Fucking. Excited.

Finally, a zombie film worth watching

I'm not usually into anything in the horror genre, but here is a film I would watch:

It's the prancing zombies that do it for me.

Here is another one (see the post below first)

Knock it off!

Thank God someone is finally tackling this issue. It actually grinds my gears to hear people (especially a couple of my cousins and close friends) say "That's so gay".
Actually I'd like them to do a "That's so The Pope" version of the ad.

How to clog the court system pointlessly: A lesson

I have no problems with the Police running operations to catch criminals. Or with them operating booze and drug buses and the like to catch those on our roads who are driving under the influence of substances that alter their judgement and potentially endanger the lives of others.
Fine. That's what they're there for and it is a good public service.
But when I saw on the news tonight that they had blocked off the Esplanade train station today and deployed sniffer dogs to catch kiddies going to the Summerdayze music festival who had an ecstacy tablet or two in their pocket, I was really pissed off.
It represents nothing but a waste of resources now, and a waste of resources in the future.
100 people they have charged, almost all of them for having one or two tablets (or a small amount marijuana) on them. How much fucking time do you think that is going to take up in the courts? That is a couple of weeks of pointless clogging of an already clogged system to penalize 100 people who were doing no harm to anyone except themselves.
Make no mistake, they are endangering themselves, I don't shy away from that. I'm not condoning their drug use.
What I'm saying is, it is their personal choice. One or two pills is clearly not an intent to sell and supply - they're not going to hurt anyone else. (They've even taken the train so as not to be on the roads on the way home - in fact, you've targetted exactly the wrong people if you wanted to target people who could potentially prove a danger to people later on in the day).
I've been to plenty of these festivals and there are always ambulances and paramedics on standby. Most often they're dealing with absolute drunks.
I've also never really seen any aggro at the festivals either - you rarely hear of people coming to fisti-cuffs.
For crying out loud, these people have all gathered to have a good time and listen to some tunes and hang with mates.
Take their drugs off them if you must but putting 100 people through the court system when they had enough drugs on them for what probably amounts to an evening's entertainment is a ridiculous and pointless waste of resources.
And it does nothing to stop what is at the core of the problem - the people who make and sell them!
But then perhaps it is easier to pick on teenagers and 20-somethings caged in a traino than it is to bring down a bikie gang?
Weak as piss, WA Police.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Shakespeare.

There is so much of the "what a total cock" about everything to do with this YouTube clip that I had to post it.

All the same, total cock or not, that is quite an impressive skill. I would like to see the out-takes where the skin and flesh peels away from his shinbones like heated wallpaper as he scrapes down the side of the wall though.

So that was totally like, an awesome year n shit, hey?

Before I sit down to spend my day off reading Michail Gorbachev's "Perestroika", I thought I'd take a couple of equally indulgent minutes to reflect on what has, truly, been one of the most awesome years of my life.
I guess it started with PA giving me the Local Government round, which totally changed how I feel about work and gave me focus and purpose. I fucking love writing the shit I get to write - being the first to show people what new buildings which will change the city skyline forever will look like, exposing council junkets and having almost girly chats with the Lord Mayor. It's bloody fantastic.
This year at work also saw more of the Community clutch come across including my precious McPhee, which is rewarding in a million ways. And to top it all off about half way through the year PA asked Beatrice to share the LG round with me. Best decision ever really, because between the two of us not much slips past us and we are genuinely competitive with other news agencies on the issues worthy of daily paper attention. What's more, the girl is fucking fabulous and just an absolute pleasure to go to work with every day.
The absolute highlight of the year is sort of work-related too. It's Joey and Kelly. Making new friends is always fucking FAB and Joey's arrival in the west, at The West, and at the desk beside me has been a revelation. He doesn't know this blog exists so it's cool for me to write this shit. I love that guy. And Kelly. The only problem being Thom and Kelly lead each other wildly and expensively astray... often on money provided by Joey and I lol.
It's been a good year for friends, actually. Travelling to Sydney to spend a couple of weeks with my beautiful Daniel was fantastic. I got to see the Allcorns and some of the Outback crew and then we hired a Wicked van and drove to Dubbo to hang with the Tourles - the nicest and most genuine people on Darwin's Earth. We spent a couple of days on Naroo and I visited Oxley Downs for the first time in four years. It was a crazy and wonderful thing to do.
Then we drove to Brisbane in the Ultra Jackie Chan Van to hang with Andrew - who I'd actually known for like three years as a result of OBH but had never met. Another one of those people who you feel instantly close to.
Then Andrew and the Tourles and Daniel all returned the favour and visited me in November/December. These were the happiest weeks of the year, hanging with these people.
Then, there is the list of favourites for the year:
Person of the year: Obama. His election is truly historic. Not because he's black, but because this seems a genuine turning-point in the direction of global politics. Even hearing just a few words from his acceptance speech on a tv package last night made me choke up with tears again.
Music of the year: This has been a year of MGMT, Santogold and the Presets. My award goes to Santogold.
Concert of the year: Wow, seen so much this year. Buble, Sharon Jones, Presets, Elton John, Goldfrapp, The Go Team, Gotye, Novelle Vague. My prize has to go to Parklife for giving me Alison Goldfrapp and giving me my first festival experience with both Thoms and Big H. It was so so so fucking special cos it reconnected me and my oldest friend. Didn't realise I'd missed him so much.
Book of the year: There are two winners here because my favourite wasn't actually released this year and that seems like cheating. Holding the Man by Timothy Conigrave was my read of the year. My read of the year actually released this year is the delightfully light and deliciously funny Murder Most Fab by that splendid old poof Julian Clary. Actually could whoever I leant that to please return it? lol.
TV show of the year: Huge toss up here between Skins, which I discovered this year thanks to Andrew, and Heroes. I guess it has to be Heroes. Doctor Who was also exceptional this year, thanks mainly to Catherine Tate.
Movie of the year: Wow, well not Australia or Indiana Jones or Max Payne lol. Considering I am a massive James Bond fan, I would have suggested that would be the film I had most anticipated and would have expected to be the best, but I'm not sure it was. I was a little let down by it. As I was with the X Files movie. I think the winner was Wall-e.
Architecture of the year: The new Oslo Opera House

Day of the year: Whatever day my Spirit of the Blitz birthday party was on. I love all my friends so much for making such an extreme effort to dress up for the occasion! It looked awesome and I'm so impressed every time I look at the photos. My Andrews Sisters especially, and of course all the boys in uniform (which could have been my logic behind the theme). Happiest. Day. Ever!
And finally, my New Year's resolution:
To focus hard on four things: Loving Thom properly, my Russian studies, the gym, and squirreling enough money away for the experience of a lifetime later in the year. Not long now... D&T are on their way, Munich, Amalfi, Rijeka and London!
Happy New Year my beautiful blogging buddies x

Crime

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We the people...

I don't think I've ever seen a newsroom so quiet. The phone didn't ring. There wasn't a keyboard clacking anywhere. A hundred or more people downed tools to watch Barack Obama's acceptance speech on the dozens of televisions throughout the newsroom.
It was good. So good.
I wanted to cry. (I didn't, because it is unseemly in a newsroom, but I wanted to).
My friend Nick in New York, who has seen Tina Fey play Sarah Palin in those infamous sketches live live live, sent me messages saying he had been crying. And that there had been spontaneous dancing in the streets of the Big Apple.
Yesterday we got to watch a moment of history. It doesn't happen that often - when you are watching something unfold and know that it is truly a momentous occasion for the planet, the people, the country.
I had the feeling earlier in the year when Prime Minister Rudd gave an apology to the Stolen Generation - which was made all the more momentous because it had been delayed so long and was such a break with the past.
And I had it again yesterday when Obama made his acceptance speech. Such a good speech. Such a worldly man, so inclusive, so educated, so insightful, so erudite. And it was made all the more special because he happens to be African American. Perhaps not a descendant of the slaves, but certainly still a symbol of how far the nation has come.
I am so proud of the American people. So proud of Barack Obama. It was a red letter day. Now we just have to wait until January 20, when the man takes the reigns in his own right.
This next few months is, traditionally, the time when outgoing presidents feather their nests, pardon people, sign off on terrible deals and assorted dodgy things. Okay, maybe I read too much Michael Moore after Bush got elected... I was just so angry at the time. Ok?
Anyway, this is a happy time.
EXCEPT
Fuck you California. Fuck you Arizona. Fuck you Florida.
The Presidential election also included ballot papers in these states for a referendum on the issue of gay marriage. These states have now voted to change their constitutions to define marriage as a heterosexuals-only institution.
Even in a new Obama-led America gay people are denied the basic right to equality in their personal relationships.
I'm not personally likely to get married - gay, straight or brindle - but to deny that opportunity to people who love each other is cruel and unfair. And to remove that ability in a state where it was previously allowable is so retrograde as to be both disgusting and insulting.
I repeat my previous thoughts on this matter: How can two men or two women who love each other and want to express that in the form of marriage possibly EVER cause any more damage to the institution of marriage than Britney Spears has? Or anyone who gets married in a Las Vegas "drive-thru" church? Or the fact that the US divorce rate is between 65 and 75 per cent?
Or this idiotic couple who despite not being well off and having to feed five sons, donated US$50,000 to the campaign against gay marriage in the believe it would make the world better for their children.
How a less tolerant, less equal society is better for your children is beyond me.

On politics

On Bali
There is a double standard in Australia that I do not like. I hear in the voxpops popping up on our radios and televisions, I hear it in the survivors and relatives of the dead, I even hear it from our Prime Minister. The last one concerns me most of all.
Some time this week, or next week, or almost certainly some time this month, the "Bali Bombers" will be put to death.
We do not have the death penalty in this country. We're very civilised about punishment, in actual fact. Deprivation of liberty, for life, is sufficient punishment. What life is a life lead in a cage, surrounded by hardened criminals?
I do not buy this argument that it is okay for the "Bali Bombers" to be put to death.
Yes, they have admitted their crimes. No they are not remorseful. And yes, they might not ever be remorseful if they were serve out their life in a cell.
What really disturbs me, makes me feel sick to the pit of my stomach about my own countrymen, is this notion that we should support the death penalty for these men.
"But they killed 202 people including 88 Australians, Datchy," I hear you say? And our response is to kill them? An eye for an eye? Try explaining this to your children, should you have them. Sit there and justify murder, in response to murder.
I'm not some rampant right-to-lifer. I'm pro-choice, actually. I realise the irony in saying I'd kill a fetus but not a murderer, but I don't think a civilised society endorses killing people by firing squad, hanging, or lethal injection, any more than we'd set up the guillotine on the Supreme Court steps.
I also don't buy this "but it's Indonesian law" argument. Why don't we want Indonesian law applied just as strictly on Schapelle Corby, Michelle Leslie, Renae Lawrence et al?
Then there is also the issue of these men, who are let's face it, not healthy, wanting to become martyrs and inspiring other not-quite-right-in-the-head people (dare I call them "extremists") to do the same?
Animals might kill other animals if they think those animals would harm them. We're meant to be above that.
On America
During the last US presidential election, I was in Dubbo and out of contact with the real world entirely. When I heard George W Bush had been re-elected I was unsurprised, but very disappointed. This administration has been an abomination. Unwelcome wars, bullshit economics, zero leadership. Americans were embarrassed. Some of them posted photos of themselves on the internet with signs saying "sorry".
But Barack Obama has given many Americans hope. They're hurting in a lot of ways and they will vote for Mr Obama, I believe, as they look for a way out of the mire. Voting for Obama is also to reapply for admission for the western world. The US's reputation has taken a massive battering and Obama, to steal his line, actually offers "change".
I desperately hope that tomorrow, he will be elected president of the United States. More than that, I hope he can deliver on his promises. For the good of the poor, the homeless, the unemployed, those who have had their mortgages foreclosed, the working poor, the first generations immigrants, the ill, the disabled. And frankly, for the good of the world.
As an aside, when the fuck did "spreading the wealth around" as promised by Obama equate to "raising taxes and closet socialism"? The screams of support at the McCain rallies seem to suggest a vote for Obama is a vote for Soviet-style communism.
There are people in the US earning $2.50 an hour and raising families on it.. and somehow even suggesting the minimum wage might be increased it tantamount to suggesting Stalin is about to take over. Get some fucking perspective.