Just follow this here link: www.textsfromlastnight.com
However, if you need convincing, it contains pearls like these:
(630): The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
(502): i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on craigs list.
(804): omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
(804): He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
561): on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
(914): 11
(212): i want you now
(916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this.
(925): is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Private Dancer
2 months ago
1 comment:
This is an absolute scream. I loved the one where he's picked up the married chick in the bar, while her husband was playing pool! GOLD
DOA
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