Deliteration: A call to arms

A good friend and I have invented a word. That word is "deliteration".
It refers to instances where the English language is treated with all the respect of an aborted bastard foetus ripped from the guts of a southern suburbs crack-whore that has been thrown in the gutter outside a busy Centrelink or St Vinnies soup kitchen. Yes... that's a damn lot of disrepect.

Now I can handle people abbreviating "laugh out loud" to "lol" (even though they probably did no such thing) and I can handle net-nerds failing to capitalise or punctuate. Hey, it's a busy world we live in and hitting that shift key takes valuable nano-seconds in the chat-room.
But what I have great trouble handling is raping words of the letters that rightfully belong to them.

U no wot Im talkn bout?

Again, while the above example is straight from an inane MSN Messenger conversation or SMS, that's not particularly what I mean. Those are borne out of a need for brevity - sometimes as a measure to save money. But when you are registering a business, surely to Christ you can manage to spell "new clean" correctly, instead of "nu-kleen"? I mean for crying out loud, you molest words like that and they'll never again feel clean in the same way any seven-year-old who has met Gary Glitter doesn't.

To some extent I blame the Jews. Before you set Hezbollah on to me, allow me to explain: They killed Jesus. (And boy, haven't they paid the price for that little mistake?). Anyway, what happens when you kill a jesus? We get a Christmas, that's what happens. What happens at Christmas? We get Xmas. We get Xmas everywhere. I think it is possibly the first example of genuine wide-spread deliteration. Probably followed closely by "thru" in the popularly-used stakes. (For "thru" we can thank McDonalds and assorted "drive thru" outlets. Sure is seems cute... 'til I run Ronald "thru" with a MacKnife you MacFucking wankers).

I cannot possibly be alone in detesting this practice, so I present a challenge - a call to arms, if you will. Lets fix these bastards for good. If the pen is truly mightier than the sword (sord?), let us prove it. Let us raise (rayz?) our chemi-pens and permanent markers (markaz?) to the deliterate signs of the world and correct (korekt?) the spelling. Our world is at war with their world people and we cannot afford to let this drop.

A shy-nee nickle 4 each fotograf'd x-ampl.
(Next week: War on grocer's apostrophes)