Nothing is forever

Nothing is forever and I'm having trouble being philosophical about it.
Isn't it funny that our family farm should have been sold five years ago and I didn't shed a tear. I didn't mind that the place my family had owned for 30 years was no longer going to be in my family's hands. I didn't care that the place I spent my entire childhood until I left home at 19 was owned by someone else.
But this afternoon when I got home Dad explained to me that our old family farm was being subdivided and developed into 19 blocks of various sizes - I imagine mostly 5 to 10 acre blocks.
And I was devastated.
That our beautiful - and I mean insanely and breath-takingly beautiful - valley should be peppered with 19 houses is a criminal act. It is a crying shame and I cannot bear to think of it. I've had a lump in my throat all afternoon. I can't believe it. I can't believe they would allow it. I don't understand why THE BEST FARMING LAND in Gidgegannup needs to be turned into a housing estate. It is a criminal criminal criminal waste. I am gutted.
Now I know how the English landed gentry feel when they can no longer afford to keep the roof on. I understand how real farmers feel when drought drives them to the city. I understand how refugees feel.
(Okay, so that is going a little far, but in several respects, it is the same feeling. I feel homeless. Something that was once mine is not only no longer mine, but it no longer exists. I can NEVER return. And that actually fucking hurts).
The hardest thing I've had to learn about getting older is that nothing ever stays the same. It's not something you think about when you're a kid - but the friends you used to have, the fields you used to play in, even the family members you held most dear - are not yours to have and to hold forever.
I understand why old people get sentimental. I understand why they gripe and groan and lament the loss of the old ways and values. I totally get why they become set in their ways.
I love progress, I love change, I love the dynamism of culture and society. Or so I thought. Perhaps, in truth, I'm as protectionist and conservative as everyone else.
Or perhaps I just appreciate great beauty. And a beautiful thing is about to be dissected with a scapel by people who have only ever seen it on paper. Maybe I'm just reacting to the philistines. But there's no point educating them: I'd only be standing in between them and the millions of dollars they are going to make. I can't change anything.
But that's how society is now. My only hope is that the power of the dollar, too, will not be forever. And perhaps one day things of great beauty will be regarded as important as things of great value.
Fuck the fucking capitalists. Fuck you all. Fuck you, fuck you,FUCK YOU!