Er? Seriously?

This from an online news service:

Gentlemen please, rate yourselves: are you a cucumber or a banana in bed?
Singapore's Society for Men's Health and a pharmaceutical firm are proposing a four-point scale for erectile dysfunction, allowing men to rate their own hardness with four categories: cucumber, unpeeled banana, peeled banana and tofu.

"Men should aim for this," UK sex therapist Victoria Lehmann told a news conference, holding a cucumber.
The scale does not involve any scientific measurement - patients would merely be asked to assess their own levels of hardness - and has not been accepted by any medical authorities.

If you ARE a banana, it is always best to use protection. Would you believe this product, cleverly known as a Banana Guard, actually exists?
Cucumbers come already wrapped.